Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
