Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
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you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
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She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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