I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
