I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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