I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
