my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
