I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
