so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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