You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
