I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
