Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
