Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
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