i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
