i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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