I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
