i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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