I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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