it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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