sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
