Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I understand Curling. That high.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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