I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
