I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
