I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
