I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
