Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize