I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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