): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
