Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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