I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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