it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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