you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
