We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
