im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
