she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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