I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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