wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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