I hope mine doesn't look like that
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
