i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
