I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
