glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
