my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i don't like sucking hair
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
