I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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