lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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