What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
