So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize