when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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