weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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