If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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