how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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