She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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