dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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