we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
