Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
