One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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