he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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