the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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