Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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