I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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