is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
