Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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