chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
