Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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