I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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