So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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