He told me they were just razor bumps!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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