Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
