Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
