i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
