high people should be assigned attendants
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
whose parrot is this?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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