Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
