I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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