summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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