i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
