Taylor Swift is so right about you.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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