Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize