I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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